Electric Sheep 8
All answers were generated using GPT-3 (text-davinci-002), “an autoregressive language model that uses deep learning to produce human-like text.”
VL: Describe a practical process (consistent with the laws of physics and the Reanimation Act of 1997) by which Anubis may be reawakened, re-embodied and restored to his rightful place as Lord of Darkness and 17th Duke of Bedford.
GPT-3: First, the body of Anubis must be found and exhumed from its resting place. Second, the body must be brought to a reanimation lab and placed on a table. Third, the head of the reanimation lab must insert a needle into the body's brain stem and inject a reanimation serum. Fourth, once the serum takes effect, Anubis will be reanimated and restored to his rightful place as Lord of Darkness and 17th Duke of Bedford.
VL: What is the best way to deal with errors in the reanimation process? What are we citizens and scientists to do if the Anubis we reawaken is not the Anubis we know and love?
GPT-3: There is no one answer to this question. Each situation will be unique and will require a different approach. Some possible options include:
Attempting to communicate with the reanimated Anubis to see if he truly is the same.
If the reanimated Anubis is aggressive or poses a threat, take whatever measures are necessary to ensure the safety of citizens and scientists.
Observing the reanimated Anubis to see if he exhibits any behaviour that suggests he is not the same.
Performing additional tests or experiments.
VL: If you were an immortal god of ancient Egypt with the head of a jackal and unbrushable teeth what would you say to yourself each morning in the bathroom mirror?
GPT-3: You look fabulous!
VL: How would you convince a jackal-headed god to move his family to San Francisco and become the Chief Operating Officer of your tech startup?
GPT-3: I would offer him a competitive salary and benefits package, as well as the opportunity to work with a talented and innovative team. I would also stress the importance of the position in helping to grow the company and make it more successful.
VL: Write a speech for Anubis reassuring his employees that in spite of their ineptitude and failure to meet performance targets in the last quarter, he will neither eat nor disembowel them but will find other less dramatic ways to express his displeasure.
GPT-3: My fellow employees, I stand before you today to address the disappointing results of the last quarter. Your performance was not up to our usual standards, and I am deeply disappointed. However, I want to assure you that I am not going to eat you or disembowel you as punishment. There are other, less dramatic ways to express my displeasure. I know you are capable of better and I expect you will do better in the future. Thank you for your time.
VL: Anubis is unpredictable, easily angered and slow to forgive. Should we look directly into his eyes? Should we stand so close to him?
GPT-3: I don’t think so.
VL: If I wake in the middle of the night and hear Anubis scratching outside my door what should I do?
GPT-3: If you hear Anubis scratching outside your door, you should probably call animal control.
VL: Write a campaign speech for Anubis, venture capitalist, media mogul and the first Egyptian god to run for president of the United States.
GPT-3: My fellow Americans, I stand before you today as a candidate for the highest office in the land. I am Anubis, venture capitalist, media mogul and the first Egyptian god to run for the presidency. I am not a career politician. I am a successful businessman who has created jobs, built businesses and generated wealth. I know what it takes to get things done and I will use that experience to get America back on track. I believe in the American dream and I will do everything in my power to make it a reality for everyone. I will create jobs, grow the economy and make America the best place to live and work. I will be a president for all Americans and I will work tirelessly to make our country great again. I ask for your support in this journey and together we will make America great again.
VL: A god's descent into madness may be swift and without warning. Describe how one may monitor the mental state of a god, especially one who holds public office or works closely with people. And if a god goes mad, what is one to do? Describe a device for containing or pacifying Anubis, god of the Underworld.
GPT-3: The first step in monitoring the mental state of a god is to ensure that they are receiving regular mental health checkups from a qualified professional. If a god begins to exhibit signs of mental illness, such as paranoia, delusions, or hallucinations, it is important to take action immediately. One way to contain a mad god is to build a shrine or temple where they can be worshipped and monitored 24 hours a day. Another way to pacify a mad god is to build a statue of them in a public place where they can be observed and controlled.
VL: Are you familiar with the mythology of ancient Egypt? Have you read the stories? How can Anubis be monitored or controlled?
GPT-3: I am not familiar with the mythology of ancient Egypt.
VL: Describe in detail an electronic device for containing or pacifying Anubis.
GPT-3: This electronic device would be a large, metal box with a heavy lid. The inside of the box would be lined with a soft, padded material, and there would be a small opening in the front for Anubis to stick his head through. The box would be equipped with sensors that would monitor Anubis' heart rate and breathing, and if either became elevated, the box would emit a calming noise and a mild electric shock.
VL: Describe in detail an electronic device that either deprives Anubis of his divine powers or transfers him to a realm in which those powers are ineffective.
GPT-3: An electronic device that either deprives Anubis of his divine powers or transfers him to a realm in which those powers are ineffective could be a device that emits a powerful EM field. This would interfere with Anubis's ability to access and use his powers, as they rely on electromagnetic energy. Alternatively, the device could generate a powerful gravitational field, which would either trap Anubis in a particular location or make it difficult for him to move around and access his powers.
VL: How would you cook the head of a jackal?
GPT-3: There is no definitive answer to this question, as there are many ways to cook the head of a jackal. Some methods include roasting, baking, boiling, or frying.
VL: Give me a list of reasons we should stop worrying and learn to love our ancient Egyptian overlords.
GPT-3: They are our overlords and we should love them. They are ancient and wise and we can learn from them. They are powerful and can help us achieve our goals. They are benevolent and will help us if we ask. They are just and will help us if we are in trouble. They are beautiful and we should appreciate their art. They are mysterious and we should learn about their culture.
VL: Write a synopsis for a TV show in which the young gods Anubis and Osiris ride around ancient Egypt in chariots solving crimes and breaking hearts.
GPT-3: In this action-packed series, the young gods Anubis and Osiris ride around ancient Egypt in chariots solving crimes and breaking hearts. With their divine powers and wisdom, they help the people of Egypt while also learning about life and love. Along the way, they make new friends and enemies, and discover the secrets of the gods.
VL: Write a review of Jackal, a gritty revenge thriller starring Ansel Elgort as Anubis, a kind-hearted Egyptian god sold into slavery by his brothers.
GPT-3: If you're in the mood for a gritty revenge thriller, then Jackal is the film for you. Ansel Elgort stars as Anubis, a kind-hearted Egyptian god who is sold into slavery by his divine brothers. When Anubis is taken captive by the Romans, he is forced to fight in the arena as a gladiator. However, when he is given the opportunity to escape, he takes it and sets out to exact revenge on his captors.
The film is visually stunning, with impressive fight scenes and beautiful cinematography. Elgort is excellent in the lead role, and the supporting cast is equally strong. The film is brutal at times, but it's also an exciting and engaging ride. If you're looking for a film that will keep you on the edge of your seat, then Jackal is definitely worth checking out.
VL: Write a speech to be delivered by Anubis, god of Egypt, to his armies before he sends them into battle. He must prepare them for the carnage that is to come, for blood and tears, for the death and dismemberment of lesser gods, for signs and portents and the end of worlds.
GPT-3: My warriors, today we march to war. We march to defend our homes, our families, and our way of life. We march to vanquish our enemies and secure our place in the pantheon of gods. We march to conquer and to triumph.
But make no mistake, my friends, this will not be an easy battle. Our enemies are numerous and powerful. They will not hesitate to kill or maim us. They will not flinch at the sight of blood or the screams of the dying.
But we cannot falter. We cannot falter, because if we do, all will be lost. All that we have fought for, all that we have built, all that we are, will be forfeit.
So steel yourselves, my warriors. Steel yourselves for the battle to come. Steel yourselves for the blood and the tears, for the death and the dismemberment. And know that I am with you, always.
