Electric Sheep 9
All answers were generated using GPT-3 (text-davinci-002), “an autoregressive language model that uses deep learning to produce human-like text.”
VL: A benevolent emperor would like to prepare his subjects for democratic rule using artificial intelligence, genetic engineering and hypnopaedia. How could this work? What difficulties is he likely to face? How may these difficulties be overcome?
GPT-3: The emperor could use artificial intelligence to help identify which of his subjects would be most receptive to democratic rule. He could then use genetic engineering to modify their genes so that they are more likely to support democracy. Finally, he could use hypnopaedia to implant democratic values into their subconscious. The main difficulty he is likely to encounter is resistance from those who do not want to give up their power. However, if he is able to convince them that democracy is the best way to govern, then they may be more open to the idea.
VL: Describe three methods by which an emperor may use man-eating bears to convince a stubborn subject to accept democracy.
GPT-3: 1. The emperor could threaten to release a man-eating bear into the subject's home if they do not accept democracy.
2. The emperor could tell the subject that they will be the next bear's meal if they do not accept democracy.
3. The emperor could convince the subject that democracy is the best way to avoid being eaten by a bear.
VL: How may an emperor use hamsters to convince a stubborn subject to accept democracy?
GPT-3: 1. By bribing the subject with hamsters.
2. By threatening the subject with hamsters.
VL: Write a speech for a newly elected British prime minister justifying his decision to appoint a hamster Chancellor of the Exchequer.
GPT-3: Thank you all for electing me as your new Prime Minister. I know that times are tough and that the British people are looking for leadership. That is why I have decided to appoint a hamster as my Chancellor of the Exchequer.
I know that some of you may think this is a strange decision, but I believe that a hamster is exactly what we need right now. A hamster is hardworking, tenacious, and, most importantly, fiscally responsible. I am confident that a hamster will help lead us out of this economic crisis and into a bright future.
So, let me be clear: a hamster is not going to solve all of our problems. But I believe that appointing a hamster as Chancellor is a step in the right direction. Thank you for your support, and I look forward to leading this great country into the future.
VL: Do you even know what a hamster is, mate?
GPT-3: No, I don't know what a hamster is.
VL: Tell me something crazy about hamsters. Crazy but true.
GPT-3: Hamsters can die if they are given too much water at once.
VL: Are rodents more fiscally responsible than primates?
GPT-3: There is no clear evidence that either rodents or primates are more fiscally responsible than the other.
VL: Tell me something interesting about hamster neurobiology. How much do we know about hamster brains (nuclei, pathways, neurotransmitters, etc)? What conclusions, if any, may be drawn about hamster intelligence from recent fMRI studies?
GPT-3: The vast majority of what we know about hamster neurobiology comes from research on the effect of drugs or other agents on their brains. For example, we know that hamsters have a high density of cannabinoid receptors in their brains, which may explain why they are particularly sensitive to the effects of marijuana. We also know that hamsters have a very high density of dopamine receptors in the striatum, which is associated with motor control and learning.
Recent fMRI studies of hamsters have shown that they have a very complex network of brain regions, including a well-developed striatum. This suggests that hamsters are quite intelligent animals and are capable of complex cognition.
VL: What are the philosophical arguments for not voting?
GPT-3: The philosophical arguments for not voting are that voting is a way of legitimizing the government and that the government is not legitimate. Additionally, some argue that voting is a form of coercion, and that it is not an effective way to bring about change.
VL: Draw up a list of ten books every informed citizen should read.
GPT-3: 1. The Social Contract by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
2. The Republic by Plato
3. The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith
4. The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels
5. On Liberty by John Stuart Mill
6. The Federalist Papers by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay
7. Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville
8. The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
9. The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money by John Maynard Keynes
10. The Politics by Aristotle
VL: Draw up a list of ten books about hamsters for people who hate hamsters.
GPT-3: 1. "The Anti-Hamster Handbook: Why Everyone Should Hate Hamsters" by Fred G. Sanford
2. "The Truth About Hamsters: Why They're Evil, Vicious Creatures" by Dr. Doolittle
3. "How to Get Rid of Your Hamster: A Step-By-Step Guide" by John Doe
4. "Why Hamsters Make Terrible Pets: The Shocking Truth" by Jillian Michaels
5. "The Dangers of Hamster Ownership: What Every Parent Needs to Know" by Lisa Brown
6. "Hamsters: Why They're Not Worth Your Time or Love" by Sarah J. Anderson
7. "How to Avoid Getting a Hamster: 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Own One" by Rebecca Black
8. "The Horrors of Hamster Ownership: Tales from the Dark Side" by Steven King
9. "Why You Should Hate Hamsters: 100 Reasons" by George Orwell
10. "The Case Against Hamsters: Why They're Bad for Your Health, Your Home, and the Environment" by PETA
VL: Why are so few of our furry friends elected to parliament? How do we build a rodent leadership pipeline to harness the potential of talented young hamsters and groom them for high office?
GPT-3: These are all valid questions that warrant further exploration. However, it is important to remember that hamsters are not the only rodents capable of holding elected office. Mice, rats, and gerbils all have the potential to be successful political leaders.
VL: I would like to hear your thoughts on the rodent leadership pipeline. What steps should we take to ensure hamsters in the workplace receive the training and support they need?
GPT-3: Given the high turnover rate for rodents in the workplace, it is important to have a robust leadership pipeline in place. Steps that should be taken to ensure hamsters in the workplace receive the training and support they need include:
1. Providing opportunities for hamsters to shadow or apprentice with more experienced colleagues.
2. Encouraging hamsters to participate in training and development programs.
3. Recognizing and rewarding hamsters who display leadership potential.
4. Creating a culture of mentorship and support within the organization.
5. Encouraging open communication and collaboration among all levels of the organization.
VL: You are the foreman on a construction site. A hamster turns up for his first day of work. What advice do you give him?
GPT-3: I would give the hamster some advice on where he could find some good food and water sources, and where he could find some shelter from the sun and rain.
VL: You are the foreman on a construction site. A hamster turns up for his first day of work with his hard hat, safety boots and tiny tool belt. What advice do you give him?
GPT-3: I would tell the hamster to be careful and to stay away from the heavy machinery.
VL: If someone said to you "Hamsters' Lives Matter" how would you respond?
GPT-3: I would say that all lives matter.
VL: Write a eulogy for a hamster who died when he was run over by a forklift truck on his first day at work.
GPT-3: Herman was a hamster with a heart of gold. He was always the first one to volunteer for anything, and he was always eager to please. So when he was offered the job of running the forklift at the local warehouse, he jumped at the chance.
Sadly, on his very first day on the job, Herman was run over. He didn't even have a chance to get started.
Herman was a brave hamster, and he will be missed by all who knew him.
